let’s go set some nets ate midnight. Pappa needs a new foot.
Archive for April, 2012
So with all of the bad press in the past week surrounding the east coast gill-net fishery and interactions with mammals even my neighbors, who generally could care less about the industry aside from the occasional free bag of fish, were full of questions. Let’s get some perspective:
Barton Seaver does. Because sustainable isn’t enough. We need restorative seafood practices until there are so many fish in the fucking ocean that the earth consumes itself creating a black hole that will collapse the universe.
I give you the voice of restorative seafood…riding this cash cow all the way to the bank.
One good drenching and the lawn looks like a slightly less hostile environment than the ho chi min trail. I’ve got a little bit of everything: crab grass; dandelion; goosegrass; speedweed; white clover; wild onion; ground ivy; bullwhistle…the list goes on. Normally I would try to combat said issues with Scotts fertilizers and some lime. Unfortunately, that shit is not only expensive, but requires multiple applications.
With 25,000 square feet the money and the effort gets steep fast. Time for a cop-out. I met with Mike from TrueGreen today for an estimate from the pros. A rare good move on my part. With a five treatment plan from people who actually know what they are doing it will cost me less than I would have paid for product alone.
And he brought the dog a treat. That right there might have sealed it.
Call TrueGreen. And if you live in my area, let me know and I’ll send you Mike’s number…You’ll thank me.
On a side note, two couples in my circle of friends recently returned from vacations in Mexico and Puerto Rico. One brought me a bottle of fine rum; the other a bottle of Mezcal. I’m starting to think I might be sending out the right message.
Lawn’s gonna look mighty fine from the deck chewing on a Mezcal worm. Looks like I’d better plan a rib night soon.
Note to self: don’t fuck around with that toxic southern swamp water. It clearly creates a chemical reaction with that ice-cold north-Atlantic brine coursing through your veins.
Two and a half days in the hospital getting stuck with needles and pumped full of antibiotics is no way to finish off a vacation. Just a little cellulitis. No big whoop. They released me today, but kept the IV tube in so that I can come back and visit often. My first stint in the hospital was truly a crash course in do’s and don’ts of nurse etiquette.
Thank everyone often
don’t complain. Yeah, it sucks. Whining isn’t going to make anything better
Keep the outside opinions of all your friends in the medical profession to a minimum. Assume that the folks in uniform know what they are doing, what with their being there and seeing it and all.
Wearing your robe backwards, exposing yourself, is only funny once. And if you do, rub it a little first. It’s cold in the hospital and the humor of the moment is completely lost if met with the wrong kind of laughter.
The sponge bath joke has apparently grown stale…save it for the locker room steak-head.
Don’t sneak beer in to drink during the Bruins game. They don’t like that.
Don’t ask you ‘student nurse’ if he lives in a van out back and ordered his outfit online. Makes things even more awkward.
When four nurses help you into the shower across the hall, Do not hit the emergency button, tuck your cock’n'balls back between your legs (Buffalo Bill style), and scream that your penis fell off.
If you are laughing at your computer right now than this one was for you.
For the record, I have had a good friend of mine that is a fine finish carpenter on retainer for quite some time to build my peg leg when the time comes. This is the closest I have come, to date, to cashing in that chip.