I appreciate that people outside of my target demographic read this blog. That’s great. Just remember, you don’t have to like my sense of humor; you don’t have to approve of my content; hell, you don’t even have to like me…eh, I forget where I was going with this.
Archive for July, 2010
Alright, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Doug has turned into a judgemental vegan pussy’. And sure, no one loves to rush to a conclusion more than me. But hear me out. All the wishy-washy, reduce your carbon footprint, don’t eat that eat this, you don’t need that, you drive what?, have you ever spun your own wool, I have a windmill, don’t use more than two gallons of water a day, You should build a root cellar, why don’t you build your own house from the wood on the land, My name is Spalding bullshit– there is some pretty good stuff in there. And pictures of tractors. I like tractors.
I have officially retired from the use of chicken wire. The chickens may be eaten: I don’t care. The gardens may be ravished: I don’t care. I hear by swear, from this day July 26th, 2010, I will never use chicken wire again. Fuck that shit. As a matter of fact I will advise others not to use it as well. I’ve got more holes in me than Tuapc Shakur. I’m bleeding like a stuck Biggy Smalls. Anyone one else has a gripe I’m going to go DMX on their ass. Sarah got a problem…I’ll Mike Tyson the bit…
Whats that honey? Yes dear.
So I’m surfing the internet (information superhighway), and I come across these surfers in Hawaii that have the same name for their site as I do. There is a lot of ‘pioneering the sport’ talk going on, and they seem like pretty cool guys. Certainly much ‘cooler’ than myself. It’s a pleasure to, in some small way, take some of that and attach it to myself. Keep up the good work fellas, maybe I’ll have my homies make up a dance and name it after you.
All my bitches love me, all my all my bitches love me.
But this guy is just too awesome not to hold an encore performance.
My boss has always said, once something goes over the side of the boat there is no guarantee that you will ever see it again. This theory in respect to lobster traps means that each set of buoys is responsible for protecting just over $2000 dollars worth of gear (20 traps, rope, whale-safe swivels and the buoys themselves). With fifty of these arrangements in the water currently fishing (put the phone down Mark, I’m only kidding), that’s quite a chunk of change to keep track of. And when traps are lost, out comes this pain in the ass:
This grapple is ball-breaking heavy; gets hooked up on everything; requires 30ft of chain and a mile of rope to work and often misses its target. Luckily, today we avoided this behemoth by dragging another trawl of traps over the missing traps and snagging the ground-line. No small feet in 250ft of water. Just remember folks, it’s better to be lucky than good.
Trust me, avoid grapples all together and you will be better off.
Sure, the beginning with the albies is impressive enough. But the end…with the 200 lb. yellowfin? I’m straight as an arrow, but I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a little pressure. Most difficult narrating job I’ve ever taken.